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Bĕrakah“, translated blessings in English, is the Hebrew word used in the old testament when describing blessing from God or a blessing the eldest son inherits from their father.  Close to the end of 2012, someone had asked me what my highlights of the year were.   I couldn’t come up with anything because in my mind I kept thinking that 2012 was not that great of a year for me, and there wasn’t anything really worth remembering.

I immediately realize how selfish that thought is and try to remember how I have been blessed instead of mopping like an ungrateful kid that didn’t get what he wanted on Christmas morning. In any case, I want to start this year off by committing to count my blessings; hence this project is called Bĕrakah: a photo series to help me remember my blessings (this is not intended to show off my awesome life of course:P )

On New Years day, my family went to visit my grandparent’s headstones at Rose Hills Cemetery. I am reminded of a legacy of hard work and sacrifice of my grand parents, which is reflected by my own parents also.  I am very blessed indeed to be in born into this family, and I’m very thankful to have my Mom and Dad as my parents. I can only hope to be the kind of parents they were to me when I have my own kids. 😀









So, my church was suppose to have this personal silence and solitude retreat this past weekend, but due to weather forecast it was rescheduled.  I thought since it was a week night with nothing much going on, I would go on my own ‘pretend’ retreat. Here were my thoughts during that time…

Since I needed to exercise, I decided to run to a local park, at night, in the dark.  Good thing this is a save neighborhood and no one hangs out there at night. I begin to pray like I usually would; a few thoughts about God, then about me, etc.  As I begin the ‘silence’ part of the prayer, it was kinda awkward.  Everything else in the surroundings become so loud; car on the freeway from miles away, and my own breathing sounded like snoring.

I asked what am I suppose to be ‘listening’ to? Me thinking to myself?  It was a difficult processes because it’s hard to know what I should expect to hear.  If I’m just thinking thoughts, am I listening to God or just me talking to myself like I usually would anyways? I didn’t know what to do so I just let the first though to mind come freely.

First thing that came to mind was this girl that I have been interested in for a while, and for the sake of a name I will call her Irene. (I don’t know any Irene’s =P )  I said to myself, is the that first thing that you’re going to think about?  So what about this Irene? I said well, I think she’s cool, but I’m suppose to be listening to what God has to say, so I am going to not think about Irene right now.

As I continue to keep trying to keep silence in my thought, I started to get frustrated.  First at myself, in just that I don’t know what to do, and I really don’t want this time to be me listening to myself babble, and also realizing the fact that I don’t really know how to listen to God really.  Then I got frustrated at God, in just that I really wanted to hear HIM say something ‘significant’, and maybe perhaps life changing, but it’s not happening.

I then begin to have thoughts of do I really know God then? What do I know about God? I begin to recall all the things that I know of him, everything relating to creation of the Earth, then Adam, then Eve. Then the leading of Abraham to creating Isreal, then Jesus.  I begin to think that I am very familiar with things that HE did, and some of things that he still does, but I feels like I don’t know HIS core being.  This is a terrible analogy, but it’s like if you have a crush on a person, you know a lot about this person, what do they like to do, enjoy playing, etc, but you don’t know them well enough to know why they are the way that they are.

That was about the point I got to in my time of silence before I cool down too much and start to feel the chill from the cold of night.  I thought to myself that if I am to ‘know’ God, I must commit myself to listen in more, either through silence or in life. As I ran home, I thought of another terrible analogy; If the church is suppose to be the bride when Christ return, then the first attempt to listening to God and being familiar with HIS voice is like going on a 1st date with someone that you’ll eventually marry. =P

Thanks for reading. That was a long one. I realize  it’s not very deep, but it’s a snippet of my life. Btw, if you haven’t done it already, just copy and paste the title into Google translate. =P

What’s with the name?

There are many things that ‘define’ people, kind of like name association.  For example; Obama – President, Simon Cowell – Critic, etc.  One of the things that define me is toys.  I am a toy collector; so much so that my Pastor said in a sermon recently, “Not accepting Jesus as a whole is like accepting me without my toys.”

Why do I like toys?  I feel that they bring you back to when things were simpler; a time where you don’t have to worry about all the responsibility that you have begin to take as you grow older. I collect more specifically Transformers because I have always marvel at how toy engineers are about to figure out how to design a toy car, plane, train, etc, that looks like one, but still able to have it change into a robot. If you haven’t figure out already, ‘altershape’ is just another way to say ‘transform’. Haha.

I’ve always wanted to start a blog, and just write about whatever I want.  So if you choose to follow me, hopefully you’ll see a variety of thing from toys, personal stuff, spiritual insights, and things that are cool in general.  Thanks for your time.